Values Recipe

Posted on by lovinsimplicity

“Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values.” ~ Dalai Lama

“Define your priorities, know your values and believe in your purpose. Only then can you effectively share yourself with others.” ~ Les Brown

Just by one’s appearance, it isn’t that easy to spot their values. Charismatic, posh, and chicly dressed, they could still be ever so ill-mannered to the waitress in the restaurant. Unmistakably so, they may appear to be polite simply by the way one perceives their appearance. Furthermore, their values begin to surface over time through their actions and mannerisms, and in due time one may begin to see that charismatic and chicly dressed is just that.

How to Bake a Cake

Inherent to my survival, and perhaps true for other individuals, is what I value in life. Compositions of individualistic expressions of oneself, all objects, people, and environments that are of influence are values that compose our moral recipe. If I was to bake a cake, I could sort of devise and hope for the best, search up a recipe and experiment, or I could ask everyone I know and try a recipe that seems successful.

Determined by the ingredients within the recipe, the outcome of the cake could transpire spectacularly. Since we all have different ‘taste buds’, what we would determine to be a ‘good’ cake will differ, even though the structure of each cake is somewhat similar. Much like the charismatic, chicly dressed person, the way a cake looks may be the result of some of the ingredients. However, one doesn’t know how the cake turned out until the first bite. That means values can influence how we behave through our actions and could also influence the way we present ourselves to the world.

My Recipe

First, I like to start with thorough research, starting with Google and every recipe book that I own. Next, I would Google every cake recipe in the flavor that I am seeking. Then, I would call a couple of my closest friends, who are successful bakers by trade, to ask their opinions. After I gather my recipes, discuss with my friends who are knowledgeable about baking cakes, I would contemplate. Lastly, I would ‘sleep on it,’ as this is a phrase I strongly believe in. Yes, this is seriously how to concoct almost all the major decisions that I make. Truthfully, the only time I have made irrational decisions is when I didn’t know my ‘recipe.’ I used to rush to gather ingredients because others told me I should. The end results were very unpleasant ‘cakes.’ 

Honesty is as good for the body as the cleanest water

Honesty

Honesty is pretty much a whole set of values, which makes this value challenging. This may be why every religion speaks of a higher being in some form watching over humanity, perhaps to keep us honest. Funny enough, politicians lie right in front of our faces, loved ones lie sometimes, and even random strangers fabricate alternate lives just to impress others. More importantly, I value honesty in myself and everyone around me; perhaps this is a result of what I learned about honesty in church. Keen to spot even the smallest lie, I have a low tolerance to lies. Many of my family and friends say I’m highly intuitive.

Some of my friends are so honest that some may say they are ‘abrupt’, but I know they will always tell me when I’m adding too much ‘salt.’ And I don’t know if you have ever taken a bite out of a cake with too much salt, but no amount of sugary frosting can disguise it. Even if that means I may not like what I’m hearing, I would rather hear the truth and move on than to sense a dishonest communication with someone. Specifically, I value honesty in my personal life and would rather have authentic relationships than ‘bodies’ around me. In a professional setting, honesty builds trust and confidence, and it allows everyone to think more critically. I believe more action is done through honesty. However, honesty to me does not mean rudeness or disrespect, but being available, transparent, and considerate.

Common Courtesy

Much like table manners, I believe that common courtesy is an active demonstration of respect and honor. Being courteous can show an individual or a group that one cares about them or that they are seen. Everyone wants to be ‘seen;’ maybe not by everyone, but by someone. Humans are social beings, being social is crucial to survival. When I was a child, my mother would tell us to use our manners and be mindful of others. My grandmother also exemplified this trait very often. I witnessed how individuals responded to grandmother and how it made them, her, and any bystanders, including myself, feel.

I learned about positive energy and how energy attracts other energy through many spiritual teachings. I enjoy learning about numerous religions to find common ideologies, I believe this helps me understand human behavior and social structures better. When I reflect on why common courtesy is a deeply rooted value for me, I realize it is my interpretation of the observed outcome created by the action of common courtesy.

Equality

The primary goal of humanity is equality. I believe this to be true on some level both the spiritual and material world. It is only when true equality is achieved that I believe we will transcend to the next phase of ‘being.’ Unfortunately, I also believe there are a great deal of humans on Earth who are afraid of change, moreover, they do what they can to put a stop to anything that would progress humanity.

Equality in the workplace is important to the work culture. When individuals feel included and valued, they are more productive and engaged. When the individual is as equally important as the whole society, true equality can be achieved. This value is important to me, as I have experienced inequality and know the challenges. It has made life in general a little more difficult to navigate the professional world. That does not mean I gave up; I just knew I would need to assert myself until others believed in me just as much as I believed in myself.

As a black woman, I know not every human I encounter sees me as their equal, therefore, my desire for equality isn’t a topic they are interested in entertaining. Yet, I have found solitude in advocating for others. I believe when we focus on helping others from our hearts, the laws of attraction bring balance to us. Some call this Karma, Yin and Yang, Dharma, or God, I believe it is as natural as the law of gravity and velocity. I find it unsettling when I hear others make claims to deserving equality when they belittle others or believe that they have no influence on the inequality and poor treatment of others. For example, goods and services. How could one believe that they truly stand for equality while several of the goods in their home that they consume directly benefits some form of injustice? Rather it be goods consumed that were created by children, human trafficking, or objects that cause environmental stressor for others. Do they truly desire equality for all? 

Professionalism

Who defines what professionalism is? I assume what I feel is professional in a medical setting may differ greatly from a person who is a professional tattoo artist. Moreover, I don’t believe that one is more professional than the other. I do believe in adapting to one’s surroundings; animals do this for survival, it’s natural. And if I was baking a sponge cake, I would proceed with using ingredients for a sponge cake and not a brownie.

Having an agreed standard of behavior or appearance brings commonality between individuals who may have various belief systems. It is also a form of communication that one is ready to perform a specific duty or task. For example, if I was going in for a dental procedure, I would find it unprofessional if my dentist showed up dressed for a day at the beach with no mask or gloves on to perform the procedure. It goes without saying that the same level of professionalism should be focused on the responsibilities of the individual performing the action. I believe this should look similar in the professional and unprofessional world.

The loft office/library was a huge importance for staying organized when we found this home last year. We store all of our books and art supplies here.

Organization

Stability within a space allows energy and actions to flow quicker without obstructions. A few years ago, I began studying Feng Shui. I shifted my home to follow some of the constructs of the perceived balance as a sort of experiment. As a minimalist, my home has always been very organized, so Feng Shui was an opportunity for me to challenge myself to think of my home in a way that related to the natural elements of the world and universe. I documented my experience including the various hand drawn layouts before determining what a home of balance would look like for me and my daughters. After about a year, I reflected on what energy had flowed through the new spaces and determined if it was useful or harmful. The results were all useful energy, and everyone that visited my home said how peaceful they felt while visiting. It came to a point that my home was seen as a place of Zen, so I achieved my goal.

When we started looking for a home, I looked for a home that had the same qualities I valued, a space that allowed for optimal organization that also followed the Feng Shui that worked best for me. I drew out exactly what my ideal home would need to include for that to be true, a large foyer, a space for an in-home library and office, an open floor plan, and a ton of large windows with views trees and nature from every room. Organization is like the flour to my cake recipe, the greatest portion of the total ingredients. When my home and workplace is organized, I feel at peace. When I’m convivial, I can bring peace into the lives of others, and to me that is one of my life goals.

My daughter took this picture of me in my favorite space, the rose garden, on my 40th birthday a couple months ago. As I stood there, I felt at peace with everything including myself and everything I believe.

The Right Temperature

The main ingredients that make up my recipe, honest, common courtesy, equality, professionalism, and organization. Furthermore, the experiences and knowledge I have exposed myself to has allowed me to preset the optimal temperature for baking the ‘perfect’ cake for me. Even with all the right measurements and the best quality ingredients, a cake could still be ruined if the temperature is not just right.

Since I identify as a minimalist, one may see my ‘cake’ as the simple one with plain frosting, no sprinkles and minimal design. Yet, once they cut into the cake, they would discover a ‘perfectly’ moistened sponge layered cake with organic berries filling between each layer. So, what are the main ingredients to your value cake recipe?

Only time will tell

Posted on by lovinsimplicity

“Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well.”
– Vincent Van Gogh

What if all this is all a test? I ask myself this question every time I make a decision. Perhaps it keeps me honest and closest to my truest self. If every action and choice you made was a part of a grand “universal test,” would everything be as it is? After two years of a pandemic and now a war, I wonder. Personally, I try to make decisions for the youth we will hand our planet to one day when we pass by like the wind. Perhaps that is what we are all trying to do, in the best way we know how.

My focus has continuously shifted from myself to the greater good for as many humans as possible. If only we knew how connected we are, how this “universal test” will define us and determine our outcomes. I’m an optimistic person and I believe in peace and good health for all people. I do hope our children, nieces, nephews, god children, and grandchildren will get to see the world united.

We moved into our new home last year and since so much has changed. Much time has been spent creating the perfect reading spaces throughout for my daughters and I, decorating, painting, and starting up the garden. Once I began my MPH program last fall, I really had this sense that I was doing the right things at the right times. I felt in sync with the universal harmony; a sort of “going with the flow.” There has been some serious intentions behind everything.

I’m grateful for this life and know I can only change the world one day at a time. The world needs us to be creative, to join in and lend a helping hand. I witnessed a lot of kind souls doing just that the last two years, individuals that put the greater good of others first. My perception of what success is has very little to do with material wealth as it has more to do with how many people one can support without it being about personal gain. However, in some way they sort of go hand in hand. When we help others from a place of love, we grow into our truest self. That’s just my idea of success and I’m fully aware that their are so many other perceptions of such values.

What will the next few months have in store? Curious to know, what is your perception of success?

We decided to grow our veggies on the balcony instead of the yard because it’s closest to the kitchen.
Liam and I taking tea break in the sunshine, our typical workday break time
Even though we have been having picnics since the girls were babies this is my first picnic basket that has already been put to good use
Had a chance to decorate the living room space and selected furniture that didn’t draw attention away from our view.

Sunrises at home are nothing less than magical, I’m truly grateful

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Spring up

Posted on by lovinsimplicity

“Spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is.” — Jessica Harrelson

I sighed with the thought that it’s been months since I’ve reflected in this space. So much has shifted in our reality and now that I can see that glimmer of light at the end of it all, I feel at peace.

This year, I had the opportunity to work with a team of the most amazing, kind, and caring humans to be on the offense and defense of this pandemic. I feel so much gratitude towards my community, seeing how they rose together and stood for those who needed their support. Also, this year marks the one year anniversary of Girlz on Fire partnership with the public health department at a large university and a local youth center.

Over the last several months I started to share my artistic side again, which has been well received, by getting involved with online shows and galleries. I’ve been enjoying the warmer days taking long walks, going on picnics, and treating my body well through healthy living. I feel like my energy has been renewed this year.

I’ve been indulging in ways to eliminate the unnecessary and absorbing abundance. I feel so grateful to work in my dream job and pursue my Master’s degree this year. I believe it’s important to always set new goals for yourself, even if you choose to share them with others or not. For now, I have decided that my goals are achieved much quicker when I don’t disclose them to others. I believe it’s because sometimes people, even in good intentions, can actually be the ones slowing you down or they prefer that you help them achieve their goal, rather it’s in your best interest or not.

Minimalism has been renewed in my heart and mind. It surpasses the attachment to material objects and the past; it expands our beingness toward the simple expression of love. The abundant love we hold in our hearts towards our neighbors, our community, our country, and our planet. This pandemic opened my eyes to all the love that surrounds us and influences our lives even without crossing our path. It’s a consistent flow of energy pushing and pulling at our hearts until they spring open.

My hope is that we will, as a one planet, come out the other end supporting one another and that we give away from the illusion of separation and transcend.

What has this experience brought to your home and community?

Vote with consumer confidence

Posted on by lovinsimplicity

Lily enjoying a gluten free, dairy free treat
Trying my first rose water infused matcha latte at Wholesome Bakery
Cute plant and gift shop in Santa Cruz
Excited that my oldest daughter and I started our own YouTube channel. Check up out: Sophina & Skarlette
Love that Athleta makes ethical workout attire that is practical and good fit
Aesop-Santana Row
Rae vegan collagen is the best
Meals made at home with simple ingredients
Aesop in Jackson Sq San Francisco
My 2nd The Nue Co subscription has arrived. Love their products so far!
Fresh flowers on our entry table is a must

What is minimalism?

Is it the absence of things?

Or is it the ability to give up luxuries and wants willingly?

Perhaps it could be a variation of both, depending on where someone currently stands.

Minimalism, in my definition, is the ability to be in tune with yourself and your relationship to the environment, people, food, health, and just simple things. In which you determine the best possible use of all things with the greatest ethical view point with all persons, animals, and spaces in mind. Just having less could be minimalism, but something will happen to any consumer who has become more conscious of their impact on others. Like any bit of information learned, humans tend to want to go deeper and expand their learning.

Minimalism may start off at one point and lead down to another, than another. For example, I became a minimalist when I learned the ethical practices of some of my previously used products. I realized the way things were marketed to the general public was to entice the consumer to purchase and not ask questions. Too many ingredients in products means most people stop reading labels or just check out completely because they don’t understand. I quickly noticed that the more simplified the product labels and ingredients the safer it was for my family.

Then, I took it a step further and made every product used in our home for years from scratch. From all cleaning products, skin care products, hair care products, and make up. But as my life became busier, as the girls got older with more activities and interest, finding products with the same ingredients I was using became a mission. After more research, I began to look into labels, sources, and even overseas employment standards. So what was just about limiting chemicals from head to toe, turned into my growth in a consumer responsibility.

See every day we vote. Yes, every single day. Every time you make a purchase, pull out debit or credit card for a transaction, you voted. Yes, we have so much power! It’s not just some revolutionary idea. It’s real. See, when we don’t ask questions we are essentially checking boxes to “political candidates” we have never researched. I’m just going to assume no one would ever just vote for anyone they haven’t researched the background of for themselves. Even for a job you wouldn’t hire someone without knowing some history about the person. Here say would not be enough, you would test their skills, ask questions, do a back ground check, and cross reference all references.

Not that it’s not extremely time consuming to do a little research – but you’ll save money because it will slow down your spending (wink, wink). Plus, you can learn the chain of actions and cycles of consumerism. And once you do, you have a few options. Like when there is a mess in your home, you could one, throw a blanket over it and walk around it pretending the house is clean. Or you could put away a few things now, a few later, and get bins to organize until the house is clean. Or you could just do nothing and never clean because you assume things will just get messing again later. See it’s all a mindset and what works for you. Not that one way is better, it’s just what works. When we shy away from knowledge it’s like throwing a blanket over it. And with it comes some consequences that we are just now starting to correlate to our health outcomes. My mom know it intuitively. Thank goodness for my mom! She seriously just knew to teach us to stay away from certain things and chemicals.

Minimalism isn’t just about the absence of things in your home, but knowing what to have and stopping between purchasing to reflect on the why. Why are you purchasing this item? Who is involved in creating this item? Where does this item and the materials come from? How is this item manufactured? What would be a better alternative?

This is not something you would do once you get into the store, otherwise you would be in there forever. You can walk your home and write a list.

Start with the kitchen – look at the labels in your home before you give it a go in the store. If you don’t know an ingredient, it’s probably not known to your body.

Another good space to start is the bathroom – Many people are good at switching to healthy eating, but use toxic chemicals in their hair care products, nail care, skin care, dental care, cleaning products, and supplements everyday.

After you write a list of five things researching alternatives, then switch. If you get comfortable with doing this, do it once a week or once a month and before you know it, your home will be voting for ethically sourced and organic ingredients.

So to sum it up:

Minimalism is not just about having less stuff, but also less chemicals, less ingredients, less unethically sources goods, etc.

Knowing more about what you consume will naturally lead you to understand your power in making an impact.

And switch five things in your home each week or month until you are satisfied. Every  bit counts!

Minimalism is a conscious decision to give yourself the gift of knowledge everyday.